


you are my last

by dokaisoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Inspired by Real Events, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:34:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24070675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dokaisoo/pseuds/dokaisoo
Summary: earlys goodbye and i love you, long lasting frienships and unmoving hearts. could this goodbye be the last?
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Kudos: 3





	you are my last

life is full of first times, like when you got your first ride on the carrousel or go for the first time to the beach.  
there's a lot of first times when it comes to things that eventually might happen, like when you have to take the bus alone by yourself or when you have to learn to cook because that will become a daily must soon after.  
but something funny about it its that most of the time we aren't ready for them to happen and want to postpone the feeling that comes with it the furthest.  


"kyungsooah" chanyeol hand appears in front of his face  
"umh ?" how long has he been staring at the reflection on the glass?  
"you are spacing out" chanyeol remarks and takes another mouthful of spaghetti he had successfully made for them.  
he just snorts and takes the glass in front of him off to his mouth  
"so how did it go?"  
"how do you think?" he smiles harshly and chanyeol muffs with a grin too  
"how bad?" chanyeol insists in a grave tone  
"a 4 out of ten"  
"what does that even mean? " chanyeol makes again that face, the one that says he doesnt know if to laugh or remain serious, but he knows its the last  
"i guess is for the better like that"  
chanyeol looks at his hat wich he kept wearing even inside the studio "...of course you would say that" he says in a disguised mad tone, he knows hes being ironic  
he just then decides to take off his hat and rest it on the chair, the reflect on the glass is something that he once got used to see, his black hair short again. but soon ill be shorter not because a role this time is for real, and that's a first.  
"what did your family say?"  
"they are okay with it, as long as im happy and secure about it they dont mind" he reminds the phone call with his mother till 8pm right after meeting the CEO  
"and you are?" kyungsoo looks up again and he knows he would lie if he says he is  
"of course" chanyeol mouth lift up on one side "i mean the earlier i get the earlier i got out, and also,,, theres a role tha-"  
"okok i got you, business man"  
"i got the chance to write a song.. would you listen to it and tell me if i do right" he kicks the taller arm "you know about that"  
"i dont want to listen to it" chanyeol is looking down arms crossed, the pitiful try of his to ease the moment failed hugely kyungsoo sighs  
"why not? "  
"cause i dont want to" kyungsoo stops smiling, now that he sees hes not joking, chanyeol looks up once again "why it have to be like this?, is this their way of feel pity for you? dont you realice you could do different .. why.. ugh you annoy me " he looks again to the side and kicks the floor.  
kyungsoo laughs at the reality that yes, chanyeol is right and yet, what is he suppose to do?  
"ill clean up you cooked" as he takes the dishes a hand stops him, as he gazes down is quickly off his own  
"did you tell the others?" the way he says the others makes him notice he means their friends but mostly..that person  
"i will, later"  
"later...." chanyeol repeats nonchalant. being like this is like rutine between them, he thinks of how it will be once he leaves. the clank of the dishes fills the space  
"would you tell ..at least to me?"  
"tell you what?"  
"the reason"  
"i told you already" he laughs shortly  
"i mean the real one"  
kyungsoo thinks if he should tell him about the media blackmailing again. about how the project that was set last year could be affected by it, how kyungsoo just being there this year means danger for them. should he tell him that for the first time he yelled to the higher ups? should he say that he really has no option but to leave for the meantime and maybe things will be better?... does it really matter why?  
"it doesnt matter" he concludes "as long as it doesnt affect us"  
"us..." chanyeol crosses his arms again " and what about you?"  
"ill be okay" he smiles but chanyeol doesnt " its the military its not like i'll leave forever"  
after seconds chanyeol stone face breaks in a snort " tell that to minseok hyung" he laughs "i think he cries soju instead of water these days"  
"minseok hyung" kyungsoo recalls the last dinner they all shared and laughs too  
"he think we would forget about him of something hes really going nuts "  
"i would like that"  
"shut up"  
i would like them to forget about me and leave me alone. leave us the fuck alone. but he only laughs.

without noticing he spends the day at chanyeol's hearing recordings and talking about the things that he's been preparing for his next project. as he looks chanyeol's face light up while sharing it all he can't help but wonder if it'll come a day when he can share this kind of things too. after all when they both spent some time here and bunch of melodies and lyrics floated all around, he couldn't stop thinking if the world would ever get to hear what he had to say. kyungsoo wondered if he would ever get to say it all, all those projects he dreamed about along with chanyeol and jongin and alone.will they ever meant to be?. sometimes he got to believe that even delude himself with those was stupid, like whatever when it came from him and them was neglected after all.  
he tries to forget about the things that are coming, cause its inevitable. and the things that could happen, cause he cant change them  
when he gets home he idealize about how things could be different if he wasn't the way he is. his mother always worried about him swallowing the things that were bothering him just to not alarm others, and how he always tend to find logic behind actions that he considers are the best for everyone but himself.  
and the thing is that she's right, and maybe thats why even when he does think things will be better, his heart still hurts.

kyungsoo finds himself staring at the cactus placed by the photos of jongin, jongin in between his two nephews, jongin smiling, exo smiling, a picture of them two.  
he remembers how it was to move, how he choose the wall colors and most of the furniture.  
he remembers all that they been through to get here and smiles with melancholy. all the ceo reunions with disguised threats, the schedules, the green screen they had to display between themselves and the world every day. it meant a lot of courage to decide to keep on feeling, to love. being reckless despite himself sometimes was a first too.  
there were a lot of things he wanted to say, things that cannot fit on those minutes. but something about the song made him feel least nervous to try to say the words. it's been always hard to say, but he knew the people that he cared about will understand.  
  
he placed the pen again on the paper and let the words float out of his chest.  
tomorrow he will think about how to tell.  
the door of the apartment sounds open and jongin steps got closer  
"hey" he took his phone charger "how was your day?"  
he closed the book and placed it on his side.  
"nothing special actually"  
"umh" he looked again at kyungsoo "i'll go shower i been training too much, im tired" he touched his arms and after a sigh, smiled at him.  
"go then, i can smell your dusty ass from here" he slightly smiled meanly  
jongin left his phone charging on the table and looked again at him with that smirk of his, the one that says 'wanna come?'  
kyungsoo took a pillow from the coach and threw it to him.  
"JUST.GO" he let out a little nervous laugh of his, he hates feeling embarrassed still on jongin's tease  
the book placed by his side felt heavy and every word he wrote made his heart hurt a little, cause he had never been this honest this way about himself before and thats a first  
when the night came he was still wandering around, and out of silence jongin's voice floated by his side again "i still don't get why you like that plant"  
"that plant?" kyungsoo made his eyes bigger and followed the younger gaze "ITS MY CACTUS"  
"there are more plants to have, and prettier"  
"cactus are the prettiest" he said seriously before looking outside again  
"what about roses?" jongin got by his side and both stared at the night light  
"umh..roses maybe too, but cactuses are the best"  
"why?, they just green and got spines, roses at least have colors" jongin snorted and took the cactus, analyzing it  
"cause only you know how pretty it is, maybe this cactus will have a flower too one day. maybe it just need someone to take care of it."  
"woah.." jongin smiled and stared at him amazed "that sounded deep, but still doesn't revoque my point..." he snorted  
"everyone knows roses are pretty...." he took the cactus again while managing his best convincing voice "but cactuses are pretty cause even if you don't understand at first why you choose it, and maybe got hurt while taking care of it, you just hold on them, and they'll last the longest, cause you did. maybe one day someone else will see it too, maybe a flower will grow for everyone to see how pretty it can be, but until then, its mine. i just want it to live, cause it's pretty even now"  
jongin smiled and patted his head, surprising him out his daze.  
"yah" kyungsoo shouted "what are you doing? i almost drop it" he took the cactus and pretended to caress it.  
"you are just... another thing" he smiled "i guess you really love that cactus"  
kyungsoo looked at him for seconds "i do" he responded and then watched outside again with a smile

the day after kyungsoo decided to cook jongin's favorite food, that its basically anything he does. as he cuts the vegetables he recalls all the times he doubted jongin's sincerity about his cooking skills, after all, now that he thinks about it jongin has always been the type to munch and drink stuff he actually disliked in a regular in front of him. maybe sometimes it was good but he knows most of the time, more the first trials, it wasnt  
sometimes he wonders how can a person be this caring about others feelings to do that  
jongin wakes up while he's still mixing the species and goes to the fridge. he hears a snort and when kyungsoo looks behind jongin is drinking water and smiling, his hair is messed up and as he reaches to it, jongin follows his action and fixes his hair.  
he comes closer and hugs him with his free arm by the shoulders. the smell seems to reach his nose as he dramatically breaths in "chicken?!" he looks down at kyungsoo with eyes big and shiny.  
"umh" he smiles and moves his glasses up  
jongin hugs him tighter pats his head and moves away to the table where his phone is charging. he rises it up and points at him  
"what are you doing?" kyungsoo whines, cause he knows.  
jongin smirks and after a second he puts it down "i gotta brag, moonkyu and wonshik ate without me the other day" he laughs and looks up again "but i'll have homemade food so who wins?"  
kyungsoo snorts but his face freezes again which he disguises with checking the food  
as he sees jongin watching videos on his phone, funny ones he can tell by the noise and his dumb smile. something aches on his chest.  
its been a really hard year on him and it will be even more. he feel a little pathetic to try to ease it some with food, but thats the best it came to his mind last day, during another sleepless night.  
but unlike other times, this was the first time he will take the run for him. and that fact at least makes him feel better about it all, that for once he got to protect jongin. if the world isnt as ugly as he expects it to be. he wishes this time, its the last it had to be like this, and to his proud he will take the last bat. "jonginah" he calls out from the tiny table and jongin who has been spacing out and laughing softly came with a smile plastered on his face. he watches fondly as the younger munches and praises in between, and feels conflicted  
"jonginah" he calls nervously yet determined  
"umh" he seems to not notice something off and keeps looking down from the plate to his phone  
"im enlisting"  
jongin seems to spend seconds till realize what he just said, rising his head his mouth slightly open, his eyes asking for more explanations. "... i thought ab-"  
"you are joking right?" jongin snorts and tries to laugh but when he sees kyungsoo serious face stands still it fades right after  
"July it will be.." jongin eyes seemed at the verge of not belief and angriness  
"..but the concerts, we been working on it then.. then.." kyungsoo knew it, and the sole memory of all the things he will miss was hard still. he swallowed. "i know.. but it happened that way" he concluded and tried to show off a smile.  
he knew well what the year was packed with, but looking back at it, he couldn't help but remind himself that after all, there will always be new opportunities like that once he come back. it was easier to think that way.. but different to exo and whatever work he could wish for afterwards. what he was meant to protect would not happen twice and for only one mistake could take them all downhill. so he was right with his choice, right? he looked up and jongin gaze was piercing. but why this doesnt feel right?  
"if you say thats the way then go ahead" he responded finally, a tone flashing with irony. he returned to look at his plate for seconds but then avoided picking the fork again and hold on his phone. "umh" kyungsoo realized he hadn't touch his food at all.  
he wanted to ask jongin if he was angry but that was useless. bothering him with reasons was useless too. wasnt it pitiful to do something for the right and then remind that thing was done, wasnt that selfish? when jongin came to the dorms back then after a long reunion with higher ups and tried to avoid him and so did follow it. when he suddenly got to face citizens for something he was putted on. jongin was hurt for it having to be like that back then and he did it without telling kyungsoo about reasons, if after he figured out was because of himself. this year when jongin got home with a overhyping aura but right after he found him late at night standing with the window gloomy. he was once again being used as the screen that covered others issues and themselves. jongin was hurted then too but once again did it without any demands or shared guiltiness, if he figured out, was because of himself too.  
cause the thing about jongin is that even when it was hard for them both, and will bounce back on him the most. he never stopped loving kyungsoo, and to kyungsoo's rational side surprise he couldn't stop loving jongin either. how could he after all?  
"jonginah it will be okay"  
what exactly was? he knew the concerts will do well anyways, exo too, that project group jongin was going to be in, he will be fine. and if that was fine then he will be too.  
a moment of silence pass by and when he stands from the table to get away from that awkwardness "wont you eat?" he looks back and jongin is gazing at him and his full plate kyungsoo gets back to his seat like he just realized what he was supposed to do  
he picks the fork again and hears jongin mumbling to himself "he cooks all this and doesn't eat...i knew something was rare.. this dumb is getting skinnier and doesnt..ugh why did i upload this?.. dumb"  
kyungsoo smiles faintly as he finishes his plate he gazes up again and jongin still there, after minutes he seemed to finally decide to continue eating "remember when you first invited me to drink coffee back then?"  
"umh" jongin looks confused at the sudden question  
"i still remember what you told me"  
"what did i told you?"  
he snorts "you told me 'coffee sometimes tastes bad' .... i think i get it now"  
"i was so dumb back then.." jongin looks down with a smile still with a tint of embarrassment  
"... no, you weren't"  
jongin snorts.  
"ill clean up" jongin stands up and takes the dishes, but he suddenly stops on his track and looks at kyungsoo with sharpen gaze "wait.... so since you'll enlist... does that mean.. YOU'LL BE BALD AGAIN ?" he smiles like he just discovered something  
"umh, yeah"  
"umh.. maybe there's something good after all" he smiles again, but as he walks away, kyungsoo can tell. that was just jongin trying to ease stuff. after all that was what jongin is too.  
as he looks back at all he realizes how lucky he was back then. when he stepped in the company that found him randomly on the street, when he laid his eyes on the boy that didnt stopped dancing till the lights were off. when he heard a voice behind his track that day to the bus and saw jongin calling out for him. when he got called with the 11 boys to discuss the new group and went to eat dinner together afterwards  
cause the thing about first times is that they are not only actions but feelings, and sometimes both. and when he looks at his friends and jongin he still wonders how every day by their side brang so many of them. and maybe thats why he could never leave their side.  
being an idol was harder than he expected. cause under the lights he was meant to be the person others wanted him to. he saw his friends going through the same, and felt selfish to voice out his struggles, like he always did. but this time he wasnt alone as he expected to.  
'let me tell that for you' 'wanna come eat with me kyungsooah?' 'stop worrying, you are doing fine kyungsoo' 'you did well'.... all those words where all that he needed to keep on going, to remind that even if being an idol wasnt his thing, being a singer an actor a member of exo made him happy, and that, was enough.  
when he got to see that new floating about him leaving the company he didnt knew if to laugh or cry.  
he started wondering if it was the company preparing for future excuses or just someone of the media ready to put him on the bad spot to gain compensations like always. cause different to other times, he wasnt as naive and positive to think it was all coincidence.  
when he looks up and sees jongin staring at the screen he states that it doesnt matter . it doesnt matter cause hes not alone. cause someone believes him. and that is enough 

\-----------------------------------------------------  
"kyungsoo" minseok was holding a beer, they gathered in his house the day before the party "you know" he drank some beer and looked at the night sky "i don't like when they call us stars"  
he looked at him confused, maybe it was another of the hyungs random alcohol thoughts "stars?" he laughed and drank his soju "why?"  
"cause stars shine bright, but they are just.. far away.. fading" he looked at him again "i hate to be called a star, i might shine" he looked at himself "but i'm not that different of people, i don't want to fade just for them to see the pretty light." he sighted and drank more "we should not be called stars" minseok defeated put his weight one corner of the balcony  
kyungsoo just stared at the hyung and then the sky, he put himself by his side on the corner, and took another sip of soju, in silence  
"i sometimes" minseok looked at him again "used to think we were stars" he moved his feet up and down "but we are meant to be more than just that" he looked again at him "we are meant to be people .. to be happy"  
definitely, enlistment hitted hyung hard  
"and we can be still, hyung" he patted his shoulder  
"do you think?" minseok stared inside the house, where baekhyun chanyeol and jongin were playing some cards game, and junmyeon jongdae and sehun were talking on the side with their phones in hand  
"yes, we can" he followed his gaze "we have each other after all"  
minseok smiled and his eyes shined maybe it was the alcohol  
"kyungsooah " he caressed his arm "promise me you wont fade for the world to be pleased anymore"  
"i won't" he laughed "you neither minseok hyung" he laughed again "now lets go inside and change beers for water okay?"  
minseok muffed and after sharing a smile they joined the others inside again.

\----------------  
they went to minseok goodbye party. they knew after this a lot of things were going to be different not only they will miss a friend, something bigger was on the corner and they knew it.  
they shared laughs and tears on the stage, fans didn't knew but they did all of that for two of them there. when kyungsoo gave his words it was not only conforming himself and minseok but his friends and.. him too. when jongin cried on minseok shoulder he was not only crying for his hyung but for kyungsoo and the scary feeling, that something was going to change.

\--------------------------------------------------

tomorrow kyungsoo will leave, the months seemed to fade faster after the notice got to them and then the fans, he cherished every hour with him, and now, the idea of coming to a place, to eat, to talk without him started to settle on his head and weighted on his heart.  
"hey" kyungsoo looked at him from the other side of the table "what's that face for? it tastes bad?" kyungsoo looked at him and then to the plate in front full of macarron with cheese.  
"yes. it does." jongin said before filling his mouth with more.kyungsoo looked at him with a smile and then a laugh came from his lips.  
"its just macaroon with cheese how it can taste bad?" he looked at him with funny eyes but jongin ones just looked hopeless  
"sometimes macaroon with cheese tastes bad" he looked at him and then back at the plate "now it does."  
kyungsoo just took some more water and looked away from jongin, it felt like he just killed all of his teddy bears.  
"will you call?" jongin face lit up with hope again  
"umh..yes" kyungsoo never got used to his mood swings  
"will you see us?"  
"i don't know" he really didnt knew, he didn't expect the company would let him meet that easy even there, not after they actually made it all to fade him apart.  
"will you watch our lives? and there is internet there too... will you see the update from u-"  
"i will do my best jonginnie, i really will" jongin stared back and just nodded before he put another bite of macaroon.  
"jonginah" he looked at the boy with his sincere heart, he really felt he was hurting jongin again, once again the world made it that way "please don't worry about it and take care of yourself, okay?"  
jongin smiled and nodded but his eyes reflected the sadness his own ones had.  
the day was getting dark, kyungsoo took his phone and placed on the table  
"i have something to show you" jongin eyes were shiny once again and moved closer  
"the song.. the song i wrote i want you to be the first to hear it" he cleared his throat his hand slightly shakes as he pressed play  
at the beginning his voice cracked and he laughed but then started again, looking down till the 2:50  
then unexpectedly jongin for the first time since that day started to cry  
he didnt notice till his own vision was blurry that he was too.  
when he finished the song jongin looked away like he wont notice if so, but when he saw kyungsoo was tearing too he moved forward and catched him in a hug and cried too. crying like this in front of each other like they both understood this time was different was a first too.  
"the last part..... is for me right?" jongin asked while sniffing still by his ear  
"umh" he holded jongin tighter  
"i will miss you" jongin cried again "i really wish we could do it together, i wish they would let me do this with you" he loosened his hold and took him by the shoulders  
"i know"  
he really knows. he has seen jongin going through arranged photoshoots and news to create that image the ceo has about him.  
he has seen jongin rejecting projects where his softer and childish heart could show up to maintain it too  
he has seen jongin eyes staring at his back trying the hardest to not show in front of everyone  
kyungsoo knows how hard is for jongin to stay on line for that screen. he wonders if while he's serving they would let him at least be more like the one that is in front of him now. and the sole thought makes a little smile show on his face.  
that day they did their best to hold on the moments and smile when the clock was still on their side.  
"ill go shower" kyungsoo said before a hand took him by the tip of his fingers  
"ill go too" jongin looked at him with those eyes again and he couldn't say no, not today.  
when kyungsoo turned the shower on jongin stepped in front of him right under the water, his watery eyes seemed to hide behind the running water.  
"its cold" jongin mumbled spitting some drops on his face he looked at him  
kyungsoo stepped closer and balanced the two tape, he could feel jongin breathing of his side.  
"just like this" he left the tape and moved back when a hand catch him by the neck and captured his lips on a deep sweet kiss, he let himself follow.. kyungsoo looked at jongin eyes now a little red on the corner. he seemed at the verge of crying again. he caressed jongins cheek and kissed him with the most sincere intention, he wanted him to not be sad he wanted him so bad it hurt to leave, it hurted so much he couldn't tell. they lips met longer and deeper till their bodies were so close the heat of water and their hearts beating felt too much.  
"i love you"  
"...you" jongin looked atonit.hes been always the one saying the words to hear those come from his lips without burdensome without any game in between,without any excuses or reasons to be spoken was rare still  
"i do, really. so please don't cry anymore uh? please don't be sad for me. i meant it back then and now, and after i leave. i love you jonginah"  
jongin closed the tap and leaned forward in a short kiss before breaking it with a smile.  
"i love you too, don't worry about me anymore." he looked at him again he was now speechless, at his own words and jongin's.  
after all they knew too there were things that didn't need to be call out , that there are things that are hard to explain.  
"now" jongin showed his hand down his chest till his hips and then his ass he leaned closed to his ear "i want you too"  
they forgot about the shower and after drying some up went to the bed.kyungsoo kissed him again before pushing him on the mattress.  
it wasn't lust, it was depper, it was more, it never felt so good  
  
they fell on their backs and after longs breaths jongin took a towel from the side and cleaned them up, kyungsoo helped. jongin embraced him in a tight hug and they stayed looking each other for a moment too long, not with the eyes from minutes ago, but those they hold back before heading to the shower.  
"will you come back?" jongin looked serious again  
"and you? will you wait for me?" jongin lips formed a little smile before fading again  
"ill miss you"  
"yah, stop saying that i'm not leaving forever" he said with a smile but when jongin stare stayed the same he understood it, he was scared too, he will miss him, so much, he was scared of how things will turn out. out and in there, how their company will manage their interactions how they'll manage jongins life. he was really scared  
"ill miss you too, dumb" he poked jongin nose and a little smile showed on both of them.  
tomorrow things will be different  
tomorrow.  
jongin holded kyungsoo once again like back then, like if he didn't he would fade away from his arms. kyungsoo breathed on jongin chest and hugged him too like that. they slept with kyungsoo curled holding on him and jongin holding him back.  
tomorrow felt so far but close  
tomorrow was a scary word.  
\-----  
the way to the door seems a little more long than it actually is, like his legs are heavier. his head running a lot of scenarios that are waiting for him behind the walls. Before closing he looks back to the empty apartment, the beige and the black and white the photos on the desk and the kitchen. His smile settles on his face just like he has been doing for years for the cameras, an static smile, involuntary, he shakes his head, cause smiling just makes him feel sadder, he shakes it cause he hates the fact the sometimes he sticks to habits when he's out of the public view.. A tear dropped on his cheek as he closes the door. He's letting a lot of things behind now, he realizes, its real.  
kyungsoo takes the road with his manager to the basement. he's not ready actually. but he can't turn back. he's doing what he wants cause he wants it for the first time ever since trainee he had convinced himself. he's doing it because he realized too late, but too soon how much he loves that that lies on the practice room, on his home, on his life, he loves lot of things that he's scared of seeing them fade away, he loves exo.... damn he loves... the van stops suddenly.  
After parking he puts on his backpack and heads in, He can feel how his heart beats faster as he gets closer, he's facing a lot of things now, he feels a little ashamed as he places an idea where he just bolts away, to the exo room and they all run away from everything.... funny yeah what if i just say im sick or something,, hey im d.o they obligated me to write my name.... wait what if i was chinese that could be a possibility i gotta give my mom a call- just to cut his thoughts a hand places on his head.  
"hey there where are you going without saying goodbye" junmyeon watches him with a poker face but after seconds it melts to a foundly look.  
"i.. didn't kno... they didn't told me you..." his eyes goes to the faces behind junmyeon, baekhyun chanyeol jongdae sehun.. damn yixing too? his eyes widen in surprise, jongin at the back stares at him  
"yah doh kyungsoo even yixing hyung gotta fly overseas for you" baekhyun says on a mocking voice while he puts his arm around lay. the latter goes forward and greets him with a hug, yeah definitely yixing hyung, it feels so good but weird all of it... wait is he dreaming?.. chanyeol pokes his head  
"i guess they really worried about all of this." chanyeol says and looks around  
"exo are happy and together yesS" baekhyun gets closer to junmyeon, jongdae laughs at him and gets next to chanyeol, jongin stays back. kyungsoo tries to not pay attention  
"its okay i really wanted to come" yixing voices out "i wish it could be more than this tho."  
"yah yall acting like we hate to be here!,what's wrong with you?" junmyeon complains with a mocking angry face  
"we don't... but we hate to be told to be here like its a duty, go take some pictures all together, yixing fly your ass to korea too, cause you are exo and you gotta assure everything its alright" baekhyun replies not looking a curious manager stare at him for seconds judging but turning to his phone "i hate this..."  
"kyungsoo don't leave, cant we just kidnap him and go?" chanyeol says with soft eyes and serious face and look at the ground  
"yah, i wanted this, stop" kyungsoo says with that scenario laughs of his, another habit he thinks "its okay its not like i'm leaving forever"  
he doesn't noticed jongin moved forward, and now it's staring at him more deeply with each word he said. he holds on the watch, the black one jongin gave him on his birthday and looks away before he can stare longer and realize jongin eyes bloated of crying and stay to hug him some more. he doesn't noticed at first but everyone is sad, he cant notice it cause just like him exo has their setups of humor ingrained as well, but now that he stares at them all and he can see..... sadness, and confusion, maybe anger?. maybe they know each other too well, maybe they know too...  
"okokok everyone move ahead and place yourselves for the photo" the manager it's getting closer with his camera on hand  
"okk" junmyeon says and leads them "lets be on the formation we alway-" he stops when chanyeol and jongin break the formation and place themselves touching kyungsoo bald head  
"it feels weird" chanyeol says "when are you getting hair again, like come on"  
jongin moves chanyeol hand away and stays closer to kyungsoo jongdae can sense junmyeon stare at them two so he steps forward and gets more closer to kyungsoo than jongin who looks at him with wonder and.. yeah, that look of his  
"cameras" he states "if you don't wanna be in formation at least be more..."  
click "ok" jongin states before looking ahead  
click chanyeol gets closer to touch his bald head again jongin does too and jongdae wins the two and leans against kyungsoo fully  
click jongin puts his finger on kyungsoo nose and the other play along, kyungsoo smiles  
click "yahhh stop it!" he faces chanyeol  
"hey baek and jongdae too were" chanyeol looks at kyungsoo hurted  
"i was just ... imitating you" whines jongdae  
"me too" states baek  
"i swear i'm done with yall" junmyeon says "that's why i suggeste-"  
"FORMATION" they all say at the same time  
"they cant make us pose in line not NOW" states jongin while looking at kyungsoo  
"we get it" baekhyun "it's not like you didn't spend the nigh-"  
"shut up" kyungsoo cuts him  
"..and like you aren't wearin-" he continues looking down at jongin that shirt he gifted him after that dark april night  
"shut up" now its chanyeol and jongin  
"you gotta be thankful even yixing couldn't catch a thing till late"  
" wait, catch on what" yixing looks at everybody, it's been a long time since he got to spoke in korean and he wasn't that much paying attention, sehun laughed on his side  
"okay, its over guys.. now, kyungsoo?" the manager speaks directing his look to kyungsoo's bag  
"yes" kyungsoo nods "i... think its time right?" he walks ahead and looks at all of them, no matter why and how, they are here for him, he feels really happy he wants to cry and hug them and say that he really cares but doesn't say anything, "thank you all. really guys" its all he can say without feeling weird, he's out of time he remembers. it's all weird actually  
"we'll miss you" sehun says "now who is going to cook i'm gonna starve, they don't even pay me attention"  
"blablabla" jongin cuts him "you are not a baby"  
"he is actually" junmyeon discuss to which sehun smiles happily ".... an iq of a baby indeed" he finishes which ends with sehun getting closer just to hit him softly, yes sehun can be a little brat but boy has respect for his hyungs tho.  
"ill cook" baekhyun rises his hand "how do you like your eggs in the morning,, honey?"  
"shut uuup" sehun states half crying and whining.  
"ok stop y'all," chanyeol spokes- "kyungsoo hyung take care, well come visi-" the managers stepped forward staring at him "... we'll come" he finishes.  
"see you hyung" jongin looks at him with a smile "take care please"  
"you too" he says looking directly at him, before looking at them all "all of you,listen" he starts with the glaring face of his softened cause he really mean this "don't be dramatic don't fire up the place don't make stupid stuff, okay? or else i will decline your asses here and block you on kakao and i won't call no one but my mom to ask for meokmul"  
"i will take care of it" says jongdae before looking at junmyeon whos looking dumbfounded "i mean we the hyungs will take care of it" while bringing the leader closer with an arm.  
he smiles at them before start his way up to the gates  
it's happening ... it's real.... its okay....its okay everything will be okay, it has to be. but his heart still .. hurts. he looks back and waves at them once again before definitely stepping away  
i know this is sad,that it hurts, and maybe shouldn't be but i guess ...is because this is a first  
he looks back again and watches as junmyeon pats jongin's back , and smiles  
he smiles cause this is also the last  
and once he comes back theres a lot of firsts waiting for him, and that person will be by his side


End file.
